December 12, 2012

Rethinking and fixing.

In the name of Allah the most precious and the most merciful.

Peace be upon all and may you’re in the best condition ever, insyaAllah. Even so, you’re sick, having bad lucks still don’t sigh, indeed say Thank you Allah for keeping me this strong to get through this hardships and challenges. Actually, the bad lucks aren’t a big deal if it is compared to what those Palestinians are facing. I’m very glad to hear that they’d won in the war between Israelis.
It is important to look back what you’ve been doing today, what you’ve learnt today. I was about to sleep actually but then, I had this thing stuck in my mind. Sincerity. 

I was actually watching Kuliah Asar on TV AlHijrah and the mua’lim was my favourite, Fadzli Aziz (one of the UNIC nasyeed members) and the topic was about Niat (read: intention)and the enlighten part was about being sincere in religion.

I found out that I am learning about sincerity today. Not being sincere to any other things, not your ‘loved ones’ – Haraam relationships, I mean. It is sincerity in the religion. Thank god my brain processed the information well – Why I keep on hearing about sincerity in the context of religion? Is there anything I need to know more?

Yes. There is a lot I need to discover, there’s a lot of things I need to rethink about the whys.
First thing that came up was what Islam actually is? What it is about? Why I can’t even say what Islam is in a breath if I am known as a muslim? It should be the easiest thing for me, for us to explain it whenever and wherever. I knew it if I keep on asking myself without finding the answer by myself, it wouldn’t work. I will never ever and ever to find the solution, the answer to that question. Never.
You have to be sincere in your religion – then you’ll find the meaning what it is all about.
Yeah. That’s it. Back then I wasn’t being sincere. I claimed that Allah the almighty is my only god but why I am being so thoughtless, so fearless in disobeying His rules, still committing sins? I claimed that I know my Prophet, Rasulullah SAW but I did not follow his sunnah to the fullest. I did not fall in love with Allah and His messenger. They’re not the in the fixed positions in my heart. Why is this happening? Allah should have the fixed position in my heart not even that He should own the top in every heart. I have them in the top places but I was not being sincere in loving them. Loving without knowing, how it’s gonna work?

When you got to realize about this, you will feel that you’d discovered the biggest lies between you and your creator. 

But I know that this is not the end like there is no way for me to repent, to re-learn about my religion, to renew my love licenses to Allah and Rasulullah and my deen. It is never too late. I am grateful and I couldn’t describe the feelings, when I had found out that He had dragged me to this path, back to his guidance. I am holding onto his rope again. He had mercy on me. Wallah, it is the feeling is indescribable. Now I am learning again everything about my Islam, my ad-deen. Prophet SAW had left us his sunnah and the Quran and we have the ulama’, the mua’lim(read: teacher) and why we did not use of it?  I love my hijrah and I ain’t regretting it. Maybe I will (TRYINGGG) to forget and ignore what world offers and strive my best for the hereafter. I did enjoy my teen life but not to the fullest as I have some of my time saved in the bank of happily ever after Jannah. What about you, having world investment or Jannah investment? J Aha.
Then, when I was studying hadiths, I found this one which had answered me –

 7th Hadith : On the authority of Tamim Al-dari that the prophet said: “Religion is sincerity”. We said “To whom?” He said “To Allah and His Book, and His messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk”.  – Narrated by Muslim.
Till then.