January 24, 2013

Tragedy Abang Burger



Haritu sebab stress yang melampau sebab tak boleh keluar asrama, kitorang join warden hantar budak sakit dekat hospital. It was a long journey, sorta because we actually stuck with road block, touring around Kota Bharu because the clinic was already closed and the only hope was the hospital and Alhamdulillah they were still accepting patients. My junior was feeling dizzy all the time, so we helped her to get the meds at pharmacy which was on the other buildings of the hospital. 

Our warden, the most sporting ever warden you will ever meet was buying burgers for us and she was having some problem to stand up for a long time, we took her shift waiting for the burgers lol it was not a usual burger because the name was Burger Pita*they used roti pita as the burger bread, thats why they called it liddat*

The burger boy got our order done and I paid to him. He was giving me the change and at that time He did not wear any gloves so I just pointed to him asking him to put the change there. He got my silence answer and...

‘Oh ada air semayang eh?’ 
There you go, a GOOD question.


I was speechless not because of the taste of the burger or the way he had asked me but I was speechless because of that question he asked me. Duhhh. Ada air semayang? Do you ever expect me for pointing you to put the change down there just because I had my wudhu’? 

I can conclude that he maybe forgot I am a girl or he was having a hallucination till he saw me as a man.

If I did not have wudhu’ that time what would happen? Was he giving me a 50% discounts or a free burger? Nonetheless, he would just make me to commit sin because if I took the money from him ON his hand, I would probably touch his hand unless I was the one who wore the gloves.

My question here is why it seems so easy and why people take this thing lightly? I think all muslims must take Islamic Studies for SPM and PMR right? And I think he did because he looked like early 20’s.

He is a muslim and all muslims are taught that woman and man that is ajnabi cannot have skin contact, it is haram to touch your hand, to touch my hand, dudeeeee. Skin contact is one of the factors of zina and I ain’t feeling to do so. 

He is older than me and he should be aware about it. Sigh.

And what is the level of aurat they are actually thinking? Aurat is dignity.

A True Homecoming



Al –Fatihah to the departed souls, May Allah forgive the sins and make their journey in the other side of another world at ease.

We had never imagine how death really is; when would the angel of the death come and greet us to another phase of so-the-called life and how nice the invitation would be? Where would be the last place before we end our life?

I asked those questions to the juniors during the night lecture. And I was actually asking myself too.  Last weeks, my close friend and also a classmate of mine lost her father. My junior lost her father too. Both of them passed away. The first thing came to my mind when I heard about this news was, 

‘Oh she might be broken now.’
‘I bet she’s crying so hard.’

But my classmate showed me that my thoughts were not right. At least 67% wrong. Her father died and she wasn’t crying over her dead father’s body or even having a breakdown or having her life tied to a tree and she was not trying to untie it, no. She was okay like nothing bad had happened.

My junior’s dad passed away because of brain tumour. He had been sick for years, and she was the one who took care about his self management. My junior was known for being late to school but every time she came to school late, no prefects or teachers would take an action on her. We all knew she was late just because that reason. Not being in traffic jams, not waking up late and rush to school. She was late to school because she bathed her dad every day and prepared the breakfast and fed him. I never met a person; a child who had sacrificed her fresh mornings, just to get her dad ready. She sat for PMR last year, her dad slipped into coma and he did not wake up when she got her PMR result. She could feel her dad’s presence, still. But she is not so broken. 

These two people showed me that death is not gonna make one’s to stop from moving. Death is not a thing that will bring you down to earth, being tied to the deepest ground and let one’s heart and soul to be dead. Death is not to make you a living corpse. They are not ending their lives; they are continuing their lives because they believed in one thing.

He, the Almighty had have planned the best for all. Death happens is not to make one’s to be like all above. Death is not something to be cried for. Death is something that you should be relieved at because you are going home.


‘From Him we came and to Him we return.’


We all are travellers and thank God that we are still in this journey and in the end of the journey we all will return to home. People do not stay at places they are not belonged to. Even the animals would be moving from this territory to another territory, country to country but when the time comes, those animals would go back to their own territory; Home. So, when someone passes away, I think it is not necessary to cry like you will be sentenced for a hang. Be happy for the deceases, they are going back home not going away from you or a place that you won’t know. Even if you had screamed on the top of your voice, cried all you tears and ignoring everything – nothing of these things gonna work. Your loud and pathetic screams are not going to wake the dead, *they might be awake to shut you up* 

The departure of the souls has been booked and the tickets are kept until the leaves with your name written on fall to the ground. It is a private departure because we all are going to meet our creator, the master of us so He had made it a surprise. 

We should be prepared to face the losing, the death of others and the death of ourselves. Death is a secret homecoming for every soul. What if you are not fully prepared during the departure? You are feeling so hard to leave the place you are visiting for a while, you want to stay longer and get prepared. Death is not a thing that you can ask for a minute late, a minute earlier, an hour pause so that you could have a sip of coffee and laugh for the last time. It is a serious thing – a final exam for us. Worshipping Allah and making ‘amal that He’d pleased are the studies. If you had done the studies all and out, you are ready for the exam and insyaAllah for the best result to come out. You ‘amal will determine whether you are applicable or not for the Jannah. 

Whenever you are informed about someone’s death, get yourself reminded about your own death because all of us will be going home sooner or later and there are no exceptions for any souls. We are lining up, waiting for our turns to come.

Have faith in Him and keep on the ‘amal.



P/s: Dear both of you, thanks for showing me how to stay strong and tough. May Allah bless you guys. Staying strong doesn’t make you the strongest one, Allah grants you the strength so be thankful to Him.