September 23, 2015

Level up, encore?



Last night was the night that I might say, a night keeping up with the girls. I've been too busy since semester 3 has started and yeah I skipped a lot reading their messages because they usually are a lot like hundreds in 10 minutes. Ain't the type to scroll everything :P

Most of the updates that I got from my high school friends are currently moving to another level of life phase. Back then in school, the thing that we talked everyday was about crushes. Those who went to tuition classes were the ones who will tell those stories. The stories would be just like, "Ahh, semalam **** ada dekat tuition! I sat beside him like OMG he's perfect, he even smiled at me ..." something like that. Basically those stories would be just about eyes-contacts, less than 1 minute conversation with their crushes and the list goes on and on and on... It is endless. I can't really imagine how the girls felt during those times because I am *proudly* 215% clean from having crush. But thaaat, is now a history.

I realized that it is not only one of us, but there are several of us. These girls, they no longer think that having relationship is for fun. It is like they have a strategic planning of future inside their mind. I told them that I still can't move on from the days with the girls, but what they said to me that, we are no longer 17 or 18. Years of being immature, not thinking seriously, taking people for granted etc. We're 19 now and in few months we will taste our first 2-0 years. That "2" makes them realized that we have to take everything seriously. You can study and keep on studying if you wish for it but it is pretty hard to establish a relationship which you seek for a marriage in it- this is when I was like wait.. they're serious about marriage?! GIRLS YOU GUYS HAVE GROWN UP!

I laughed at first because they weren't the type that would say such things but lol never underestimate your friends. I did compare my status to theirs. Laughed again hahahaha say what, I don't really have that kind of planning. Yeah I do have that specific "level-up" episode, by 23 - get married to whoever it is. That's it and but they said that how am I gonna get to that level up phase when I don't have anyone.

To be frank, I don't think that we should force something to happen before its own dedicated time. The right person would walk into your life at the right time because basically he/she is the right one so everything will be right, no?

Next, why it is so freaking easy for you guys to find that right person to match you, like it doesn't even happen to me. You just met with that person like for few months and now you're in relationship like whoa guys, that is so freaking fast like I just lost count on time. So easy to build trust for each other and yeah why it looks so easy?

Okay this is what I often ask my friends who have boyfriends/fiance - how did you guys start it? Qu'est-ce qui c'est passe? What happened? Don't you guys feel weird like to tell someone that you like, Hey thereeeeee I just wanna tell that I like you so much, can we get together? Is it that straight forward? If it so, don't you guys have guts to say out loud those things? Aren't you shy? It is someone you like kot! I can't even talk to my crush 'cus I don't know, j'ai peur, I am scared. When you go out on dates, gosh aren't you feel like suddenly getting asthma or heart attack with all means of being nervous or whatever it is - you're meeting someone you like kot! Thank god, my crush is in different university, I don't have to worry meeting him or whatever as those kind of things won't happen hahaha last time I accidently met him, lol I couldn't even look at him and all I wanted to do was running away from the scene and guys, it was so torturing and awkward. How could you survive more than 5 minutes sitting together. I died right after noticing it was him. But, you guys are incredible, you guys survived and didn't die. Impressive!

It is complicated though. The most important thing is how come you guys are so sure that both of you and your crush/someone you like have mutual feelings for each other? Seriously, I can't brain this. Are you guys psychics? You read others' minds? Whoa, now it is proven that love can do everything and it can grant you super powers! Oh yeah, mutual feelings. It doesn't even make sense that you know his/her feeling unless that person tells you, no? In my case, I am 100% sure that it is only me who like him and if this person gets to know that I have some feeling for him, I am pretty sure, without doubt that he would laugh and he won't even care. It would be impossible cus I don't know I'm not in his league though. His circle of friends are different from mine, he's a genius, sure that he got a lot of fans and I'm one of them, in that particular minority that he doesn't even care about. He is way more superior than me. The first time I met him, I hate him so yeah that's probably why. But on rare occasions, we do talk, having conversations which would last for 4 to 6 replies. You, I know you won't be reading this. No one can guess it is you.

Funny right? But hey, just keep on the track. Having the right person or not, believe that the time will come. It might be someone else, not that person that you've dreaming for years or months or days or hours lewls

After all, this is a part of His plan and just have faith. Life can't be this fun if there's no secret.