'WHY IS THIS THING IS SO HARD?'
Whenever I saw people that had dealt with their past with so much joy and never regret about it instead they were hoping that could go back to past, why I never feel that way?
I noticed it that I am getting so so so so easily unsatisfied with almost everyone, I easily could find everybody's mistakes and I just feeling like throwing up at them. But no, I don't such thing.
what actually makes me to feel like that?
I had this super BIG gap between me and Allah, The Almighty which keeps me away from Him. It is me who walked away not Him, instead He stays beside me forever.
That gap caused me to be far away from Allah.
Makes me feel that everything is against me.
The gap ate my iman every time it gets bigger.
It makes me sink, fall underground to the dunya.
I need a pair of wings to rise up.
To erase the gap.